FacePalm PoemForm

I read this today on a torn piece of paper:

She put a bookmark in my heart

And then walked away

It was still August then

I don't know what it means or who its from, but it will haunt me forever. 

"1734"

Maybe it's the smoking.

Or, more likely, my past with divorcing.

Probably not so much the tattoos or my intolerable backseat driving.

(Even though my tone is mistaken as 'menacing'.)

And it's certainly not my over thinking or constant calculating.

Seriously, I calculate a billion times a day.

... Maybe its my exaggerating.

Or maybe my general lack of eating?

Or that when I do eat it's pretty unhealthy.

Could it be that I want daughters mostly

or my insistence on adopting?

I'm just having a hard time seeing

why you would stay with me?

Just give me a minute to explain when we meet

and you'll see. You'll see that I'm sorry.

And maybe, just maybe, you'll forgive me.

There was a moment today.

There was a moment today.

A moment where all I could hear was the wind,

and all I could see was the trees overhead.

Passing, and passing, and passing.

Today in the back of a pickup trucked named Nigel,

We were traveling 50 miles an hour, and I experienced euphoria.

There was a moment today.

A moment where all I could hear was laughter,

and I could not help but smile.

4 Girls, and one very excited little boy.

All under the age of skepticism. 

One called me a nitwit, and I experienced joy.

There was a moment today.

A moment where I was surrounded by books,

in every direction words peered at me through closed pages.

In front of me bishops, queens, and kings awaited my orders.

My best efforts were no match for the intellect of my opponent.

He said "Checkmate", and I experienced defeat.

There was a moment today.

A moment where baths were being drawn,

and as the bubbles grew schemes of attacks were being planned.

Beds had already been made and toys put away.

Memories of my past rushed though me like a warm wind.

The smell of freshly shampooed hair filled the house, and I experienced nostalgia. 

There was a moment today.

A moment where I was writing a blog,

and from my left came a small voice saying

"Can I please sit with you?"

With one arm around him, we talked about rats and swimming.

My arm very quickly fell asleep, and I experienced love.

There was a moment today.

A moment where familiar voices entered the room,

and smiles and greetings replaced the talking heads.

Conversation was akin to the compositions of the blue-jays.

Some quickly parted, but others became immersed in each others company.

Quickly I finished the blog to join the conversation, and I experienced family.

(Carl, my seat buddy.)

I have nothing to say, I just wanted to say hi.

You are my hello.
You are my sigh.
You are my impatience,
and my indulgence in goodbyes.
You are my sound.
You are my excuse.
You are my sense of smell
and my color hue.
You are my favorite tremor.
You are my tantrum.
You are my inspiration
on this out of tune piano.
You are my orchestra.
You are my playlist.
You are the band that
I thought I hated.

You were my "I have nothing to say."
You are my "I just wanted to say hi."

With that said, I've got work, and you've got to fly.

Nowhere.

"I'm closer to nowhere then I've ever been, and I've found out its more of a place then I've been too in a long time. " - Hank Green.

I am somewhere between nowhere and somewhere. 

Right on the brink of "ticket to anywhere"

(not to be confused with a "ticket to here or there")

For those of you who have never been to nowhere, I'll hold up a mirror.

Nowhere is always 72 degrees (unless its really cold outside)

Nowhere has a population of 3 (unless, of course, its 5)

Nowhere has almost comfortable furniture and no clouds in the sky

Nowhere never rains, although there is an excess of cats and dogs.

Nowhere has a coffee shop called "The Cough and Hop"

In Nowhere you park on parkways and drive on driveways.

In Nowhere every sleeve has a heart, and every heart is being worn.

In Nowhere the only thing that's thrown away is pride that's been torn.

Nowhere has a beard.

Nowhere is located somewhere between contemplative and Connecticut

(closer to contemplative)

Nowhere held a vote to change the name to Yeswhere, but only two people showed up.

When you reach the borders of Nowhere, you see a long road stretching out as far as the eye can see.

To your left, families are picking up loved ones at the airport.

And to your right? A first date, and a sky uninterrupted by buildings, airports, or trees.

Under your left foot is the softest grass that's just a little wet.

And under your right foot is fine sand...

There is a sign. A sign to let you know you're in Nowhere. 

The sign is in almost perfect condition, 

except for one very large noticeable crack down the center.

The crack runs through the lettering, almost making the sign unreadable.

Squinting, you see the modifications the crack has made and wonder if it was an accident 

or if it could have been made like this on purpose.

Standing on the border of nowhere, between airports and sky,

you see the sign to nowhere.

It reads "Now here."

And you start to walk.

I just threw my circle away.

My background is a hodgepodge of things

that don't make sense or don't exist anymore

My discovery process is itchy glasses 

and a trash can that I can't make it into on the first throw

It doesn't make sense that everyone is afraid of each other

My infinite curiosity has another rock that it's turning over

I get the odd realization that I've never learned anything by sitting still

and wondering if maybe sometimes not knowing if a form of knowing in and of itself

So, lets build ourselves a pyramid of words to live in and be thing king and queen of.

We can live in it forever.

It'll be the first step to break the silence, surrounding ourselves with words.